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Cool. Thanks, WordPress! Anyhow, If youâ€™ve checked out this site over the past few months, youâ€™ll be observing a man that is *ACTUALLY CURSED*. This is not white-manâ€™s-blues. This is not mere whinnying about piffle. This is ACTUALLY SATAN HIMSELF WEAVING HIS DARK WAYS UPON MY LIFE.
â€˜Oh, sorry, we destoyed your line and itâ€™ll be a month before we reconnect you. And, by the way, youâ€™ll have no internet.â€™
Thanks, BT. May you die of maggot infestation.
â€˜Oh, no, silly! That will be DEVOURED BY THE MINX OF FAFF. Oh, by the way, do you you have an iPhone?â€™
â€˜Well that will cease to work.â€™
â€˜It is the way of the futureâ€™
â€˜Thanks. Whatever. Mephhhâ€™
â€˜Hello, is that the garage?â€™
â€˜So you realise youâ€™ve had my car for TWO WHOLE WEEKS now and Iâ€™ve been shelling out for taxis while you, you, you, do NOTHING?â€™
Oh, yeah. Well, and, um, um, the, er, water leak, which wasnâ€™t actually a water leak, is now fixed and we have a magic fairy wand that we wave it and do tricks and things and, yeah, anyway â€“ dude â€“ thatâ€™ll be Â£500.â€™
Thanks, crappy ealing garage.
â€˜So, you know that rocking sensation when you type?â€™
â€˜Thatâ€™s the battery about to explodeâ€™
â€˜For the 3rd time, you mean?â€™
Oh, er, yes. Explody battery is fun, no?â€™
Ah, time to upgrade to WordPress 3
â€˜Cool, what do I do?â€™
â€˜Press the â€œupgrade to WordPress 3 buttonâ€ you total thickoâ€™
â€˜Ah, this seems to have gone wrongâ€™
â€˜I canâ€™t get back to the site now itâ€™s disintegratedâ€™
â€˜Does this mean I have to figure out what has gone wrong all by me selfy?â€™
â€˜Thanks. Eat lead you scum sucking mekons. May your days be filled with bile and putrescent festering smegâ€™
So, that, Dear Reader, has been a portion of my month. It does get worse but it ceases to be funny so I wonâ€™t labour you with that. So now here I am in Frankfurt having just done a gig with Tim Garland in a nice old church for lovely people. Do I bother to reconstruct this site as it was? Or do I just start again?
I think for the sake of time and faffing Iâ€™ll just start again.
So here we are. Born again. All new and shiny. And incomplete. A work in progressâ€¦